Our Love Story
:: page 17 ::

Adam tries E-harmony.com
Meanwhile, we both still went on dates with other people in our respective cities. The more women I dated, the more I became convinced that I should marry Amy.

Plus, after my break-up with my previous girlfriend in the spring of 2005, I had signed up for E-harmony. I had spoken to a couple of women over time about the possibility of meeting in person.

One in particular stands out. She was beautiful, smart, had never been married, strong Christian and had not strayed from her Christian convictions during her 20's. But there was something palpable that was missing.

At the time when we started talking on the phone, she had just returned to college to finish her degree, so she was always focused on discussing her classes. To be sure, I was interested in her life, in her day. But I began to notice that she never joked with me. She would laugh at my jokes, but never seemed to initiate her own humor.

Frankly, I attributed that to the fact that she was overwhelmed by the rigorous academic schedule she had just embraced. But, over time, I realized that her schedule had nothing to do with it.

I boldly asked about my fear one day.

"I noticed that you definitely enjoy my humor, but you never seem to initiate your own. Why is that?"

"I don't really consider myself a witty or a funny person. While I enjoy the humor of others, I typically imagine a funny remark I might have made hours before, but it's always too late."

"Oh, I see," I said, now all too aware that my worst fears had proven true.

"Adam, let me be straightforward with you. If you're looking for a woman who can make you laugh, I am not the right woman for you."

Honestly, I can't remember how I responded to that, but in my heart, I knew any potential for a relationship, much less marriage, had just flown out the window.

Perhaps you think I'm a fool. But humor, I've discovered, was pretty high on my list of "must haves" - as Dr. Neil Clark Warren would say, the founder of E-harmony.com.

Christian first. Attractive second. Humor third.

Laughter truly is the medicine for what ails you. Personally, I simply could not remotely imagine how I could wake up next to a woman every day for the rest of my life who wasn't funny. Serious about her relationship with Christ? Yes. Serious about a lifelong commitment to me? Yes. But serious in terms of her countenance and personality makeup? Absolutely not.

It was through that budding long distance E-harmony relationship by e-mail and phone that I fully understood in my own mind just how important a mutual appreciation for humor truly was for me.

And that brought me back to Amy. The woman who could make me gasp for breath because I was laughing so hard at her observational humor and her vocal impressions of people. I'm convinced that people would pay big bucks to hear her entertain them from stage with her stories.

Amy's hesitation continues to dissipate
On November 18th, 2005, I sent her this quirky e-mail: "Amy, I ..uh....well..uh...I think I might like you PEEEEEEEPS! :) ~ Adam"

She replied quickly: "Adam, I like you too PeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeePs!! Remember how I had mentioned on the phone earlier that I might have to warm up to you if I were to see you in the airport? Well, forget the whole thing! I don't think I could jump into your arms fast enough! GREAT DAY!"

Continued >> The influence of Dennis Prager's marriage columns

Index :: Previous