:: page 18 ::
The influence of Dennis Prager's marriage columns
One of my colleagues in Salem Communications is syndicated radio talk show host Dennis Prager. He's an orthodox Jew, a brilliant thinker and simply overflowing with common sense. That's why I invite him on my show as an occasional guest. And that's why I love reading his columns.
As I read through the first one, I thought, "He's describing Amy and how I feel towards her."
There is no doubt in my mind that God used those columns to help me recognize that Amy would be my future bride.
In fact, three days after I read his first column, I sent an e-mail, including the link, in which I said, "Amy, I have never seen this kind of marrying advice in writing before. I was riveted to every word, except for one of his last lines about luck which I reject. How do you think we stack up? ~ Adam"
Between the two columns, Dennis offered 12 questions to help seriously dating couples determine whether they are a good match for a lifetime. Here are the ones that stood out to me.
"1. Is the person your best friend or at least becoming so?
"And for good reason. Many people cannot not answer this in the affirmative. But you have to answer it. Over time, friendship is the greatest bond between a couple. If the person you marry does not become your best friend, you will either seek someone who will be or simply drift apart.
"What is a best friend? Someone you can and do tell just about everything to. Someone you want to be with as much as possible. And someone you need. One of the most devastating ideas of the last generation was that needing or depending upon another person is a sign of weakness. The opposite is true. The inability to need is a sign of weakness -- you are afraid to relinquish power or afraid to be hurt.
"2. [In light of the fact that you spend] the vast majority of time doing other things [outside of sex as a married couple], you must enjoy this person during those hours.
"3. Is there chemistry between the two of you?
"4. Does the person have a number of good friends and at least one very close friend of the same sex?
"5. Do you miss the person when you are not together?
"6. How does the person treat others?
"7. Do you share values?
"The more you share, especially values, the better your chances of a good marriage. For example, if you think TV watching is a form of self-abuse and your prospective spouse loves watching for hours a day, you may have a big problem. Likewise if you have opposing political and social views to which you are passionately committed.
"Love conquers all pre-maritally. Not post."
The more I read and re-read those two columns, except for his assumption that everybody is having sex out of wedlock, the more I became convinced that Amy Holzer was simply perfect for me.
Index :: Previous